as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
