we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
