I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
being pregnant is like rehab
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
God I need to hump something, right now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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