porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize