My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
