Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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