Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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