She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
