4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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