im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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