so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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