i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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