Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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