its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
