If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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