don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
