Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
