Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
