Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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