He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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