the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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