This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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