For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
