remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
