I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
