Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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