A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
