Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
