Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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