I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
