wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
