if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
