I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
