You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
