im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
