I have demons in me.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
