apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
