CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
