Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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