why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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