Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
