he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
