The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
