You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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