Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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