My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
