Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he was CRYING into my vagina
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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