I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
