Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
