Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
